ramblin'

who is israel making peace with today? the palestinians, jordan, syria? what’s happening in haiti, cuba, rwanda, bosnia, iraq, ireland, south africa, and all those small countries in latin america, i need to know, i could be drafted. is quebec about to revolt, i heard months ago, maybe over a year ago, that they were going to secede. perhaps become the fifty first state. or am i confusing them with puerto rico, or the district of columbia? what’s happening now? i have heard that the term america referring to the u.s. offends latin and south americans, which i guess is understandable. but i dont want to offend anybody unpurposefully...i will gladly do it purposefully, i enjoy offending fans of rush limbaugh for example, but i dont wish to offend on accident and there are so many things that might offend. can i say the word pollock? i am of polish descent and it doesn’t really offend me, but then i am not really from poland and that may make a difference. i know they prefer the word pole but that can describe antarctica as well and i like to be precise about things, precision is important you know. the moon is slowly receding away from the earth, i learned this in my astronomy class, at a couple cm a century, making the lunar month longer and longer. i wonder if the lunar calendars of the world will be changed to accomodate. i once heard about a metric calendar invented in france with a different word for each day of the year, for example november first might be called orange. maybe i am a little confused, i hear so many things, and it is hard to remember all of them. anybody curious when the u.s. will finally go metric? we still use the british system, even though the british dont use it anymore, should we rename it the american system, or might that offend those in latin america, who are metric as well. you see, this world is so very confusing. who is this huffington guy from california that gary trudeau keeps writing about, and does his wife belong to a cult? how does one define a cult? i need to know, you see, because i belong to a group of people that come very close to worshipping a tv show and have recently realized i might be a member of a cult and if i ever run for a political office, god forbid i have no idea why i would want to but this is purely hypothetical, if i ever run for a political office being a member of a cult could possibly hurt my chances of becoming elected. the bible is being translated into klingon, maybe my cult could be considered a religion, i’m not sure. religion is such a tricky issue. take isaiah chapter seven for example. if what i am about to say offends anyone it is completely accidental, i assure you, and i never lie, even though i have said i do in the past. anyway in isaiah chapter seven, verse fourteen, millenia ago some people decided to translate a greek word as virgin and others to translate it as young woman and from that one dispute arose centuries of turmoil. over just one greek word. imagine that. words. the american heritage dictionary has a lot of them. supposedly a couple extra than many dictionaries before it, and this offended some people. i keep coming back to that word again don’t i? offense. i’m not talking football, baseball, or hockey here. though the baseball strike offended some people. i wrote a haiku about karl marx rolling over in his grave. the haiku was invented by the japs. that’s not japs as in jewish american princess but as in the japanese. precision is so gosh darn important (i don’t wish to use any of those words in that american heritiage dictionary that might offend, but then again the mere title of the dictionary might offend some of those in latin america...the dictionary being in english and not in spanish that is...what the hell...fuck it...if i offend i offend) did quayle know that they spoke spanish or did he really believe they spoke latin? he could have been making a joke that fell flat i guess. it is so hard today to really know what a politician said and what his critics say he said, you kind of have to be there in the guy’s mind, not that i ever want to get inside the mind of dan quayle, or any other stinky slimy republican for that matter, there i am again, offending on purpose, see i do do it. i seem to be rambling but i can’t end until i bring this full circle by mentioning something at the very beginning, but you’ve probably forgotten by now where i began so maybe it isn’t very important. i hope the fact that i don’t make this circular doesn’t offend anyone. live long, prosper, and peace.